


Baum mit Vielen Zweigen: Tree with Many Branches

by Branwen_Blaidd



Series: Love is a Choice [4]
Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Coping, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Reunions, Happy Ending, Happy Sex, Healthy Relationships, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Past Domestic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:49:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22515757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Branwen_Blaidd/pseuds/Branwen_Blaidd
Summary: Wolfgang is in love and completely happy living with his two lovers in Paris but there is still an open wound from his past. Is now the time to get closure on that part of his life? What will he find when he goes looking? Can this wound ever be healed?
Relationships: Cluster/Cluster (Sense8), Kala Dandekar/Rajan Rasal, Wolfgang Bogdanow & The Cluster, Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar, Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar/Rajan Rasal, Wolfgang Bogdanow/Rajan Rasal, Wolfgang Bogdanow/Will Gorski
Series: Love is a Choice [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1540948
Comments: 50
Kudos: 120





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This won't be a long one but it'll be a nice one!

Wolfgang woke slowly to the golden light of the morning sun streaming in through the full-length windows of the master bedroom. It was early but both his lovers were already up. They were both early birds, unlike him.

If he focused, he could hear Rajan chatting to Kala over their morning papers. He could taste the Chai tea on Kala’s tongue, and he could smell the warm, buttery croissants. He knew that as soon as Kala felt him get up, one of them would put on a pot of coffee for him and there would be one of Rajan’s freshly made croissants ready waiting for him.

But he didn’t feel like getting up yet. He stretched luxuriously in the silk sheets. Fuck he loved the way they felt against his bare skin. Rajan always chose the best, most expensive and luxurious home furnishings and decorations.

He’d been dreaming but he couldn’t remember what it had been about. He knew it had been something good though, as he felt all warm and cosy, safe like he had been with someone he loved, someone who loved him.

‘Family,’ said Will, beside him suddenly. ‘That’s what you were dreaming about.’

Wolfgang looked at him. The cop was naked and his hair, slightly longer these days, was ruffled from sleep. ‘My family’s here. And, you know, you lot.’

Will smiled, nodding. ‘I know.’

They looked at each other for a moment, then Wolfgang smirked as he realised he could feel the arousal which had woken Will.

‘Oh, so this is why you’re visiting,’ he said, grinning wide as Will’s ears turned red. ‘Where’s Riley?’

‘Still sleeping,’ Will groaned.

Wolfgang laughed, then reached out and ran his fingers across Will’s jaw. He had a little stubble, as he hadn’t shaved yet that morning. Wolfgang could feel the warmth of him and as his hand wandered lower, he could feel Will’s pulse racing beneath his fingers. He curled his hand into a light grip at Will’s neck and pulled him close.

Their lips met, tentatively at first, in a soft, loving kiss. Then Will closed his eyes and groaned low in his throat. Wolfgang pressed into him and Will’s lips parted. Mouths claiming each other, they clutched at each other’s shoulders and waist and hips.

Wolfgang could feel the familiar hot weight of Will’s cock against his thigh. He remembered what it felt like inside him, for real as well as in their minds. He knew the sounds of pleasure Will made as well as he knew the sounds Kala and Rajan made. He could feel the heat of Will’s arousal in his own body, mixed with his own.

They moved against each other, sleep easily giving way to sex. They moved against each other, eyes closed as they shared kisses, passion coursing through their bodies. Their rhythm came easily, naturally as their bodies and minds fell in sync with each other. Their orgasm, when it came, wasn’t physical. It was in their minds and their feelings as their pleasure peaked and they held each other through it.

Afterwards, Wolfgang lay back on his pillow and grinned. That happy, warm glow was still there. Will was still there too. He nuzzled into Wolfgang’s shoulder, his breath hot on his neck.

‘Mmm, that felt so good,’ he murmured.

‘So verdammt gut,’ breathed Wolfgang.

Will shuffled up to look at him. He gazed at him for a moment, his blue eyes dark with intense emotion. He leaned in and kissed Wolfgang softly and sweetly on the mouth, cupping his cheek.

‘I gotta go wake Riley. Hey, whatever it is you’re thinking about, don’t ignore it.’

Wolfgang didn’t have time to ask him what he meant because the next moment he was gone.

He got up and headed to the bathroom. He had a quick wash, then pulled on a clean pair of boxer briefs and searched for his Rammstein t-shirt. He frowned. Where was it? He’d been wearing it the day before and had chucked it on the chair before climbing into bed with his lovers. But it wasn’t there now. Neither was the blue button-up shirt he’d worn out to dinner. Not bothering to look for another shirt to pull on just for breakfast, he headed downstairs.

He could smell the coffee and he could hear Rajan and Kala talking with his actual body rather than borrowing Kala’s. Then it fell quiet as he stepped into the living area.

Kala was sitting at the breakfast table, dabbing at the croissant crumbs on her empty plate and nursing the last of her tea. She was wearing nothing but her panties and his blue button-up shirt. She was a vision.

‘So that’s where my shirt is.’

She turned and smiled at him. ‘I couldn’t help it. It smells like you.’

He smirked. ‘You just can’t get enough of me, can you?’

She shook her head. ‘I can’t. I never could.’

He went to her, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her neck. She murmured softly in contentment. He loved that sound. He loved making her happy.

‘You know, just because I have your shirt doesn’t mean you couldn’t put a different one on.’

Wolfgang laughed, pulling away and taking his usual seat at the little round table. They had a bigger one too but he liked this one best, because when they all sat at it, they could all reach each other. They’d spent many a leisurely meal intermittently talking and reaching out to each other in between eating.

‘Where’s Raj?’ he asked.

‘The kitchen, making your coffee.’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘He’s good at looking after us.’

‘It’s his favourite thing.’ She gave him a knowing look. ‘So, how was Will?’

He smirked. ‘Horny.’

‘You were happy to oblige though.’

‘Always.’

She looked like she was about to ask something else but then Rajan came in. He put a tray down on the table. On it was the full coffee pot, a cup and a croissant on a plate.

‘Good morning, my love.’ He leaned over him and kissed his bare shoulder. Wolfgang reached for him and pulled him in for a proper kiss.

Rajan murmured appreciatively as the kiss ended. ‘Well, that was a nice good morning,’ he said as he sat down.

Wolfgang looked at him and groaned. He let his head fall back and laughed. Rajan was wearing his Rammstein t-shirt.

‘This is why I never have any shirts.’

‘Ah, well, it … it smells like you,’ Rajan stuttered.

Wolfgang snorted. ‘That’s exactly what Kala said.’

Rajan smiled. ‘You can’t deny the truth. You smell good. Oh, hang on, I can say it in German. Du riechst so gut.’

‘Gut gemacht,’ Wolfgang praised. He started eating, taking a moment to savour the rich buttery pastry. Fuck, Rajan was a good cook.

He glanced up and felt warmth spread over him at the delighted smile on Rajan’s face. He really did love to make them happy.

‘Are you working today?’ Rajan asked.

Wolfgang shook his head, pouring a cup full of the strong black coffee. ‘Nah, Felix was out clubbing last night so he’s either still fucking her or he’s sleeping off his hangover. I might go for a run.’

‘Would Felix be able to spare you for a few weeks in a couple of months?’ Kala asked.

‘Sure, why?’

‘I was thinking we could go to Mumbai for Diwali, maybe stay a little while.’

‘As long as we’re back for Christmas. Felix would kill me if I missed that.’

Kala smiled. ‘I wouldn’t want to miss Christmas here, especially your stollen.’

‘My father will be pleased,’ said Rajan. ‘He’s been asking for a while that I go back for a while to sort a few things out.’

‘That’ll be fun,’ commented Wolfgang dryly.

‘Well, family, you know,’ said Rajan.

Wolfgang frowned, thinking back to what Will had said. Family. Had he been dreaming about his family? But he’d woken feeling so warm and cosy. They were not feelings he usually associated with family. No, Will must be wrong.

As Wolfgang finished his croissant, Rajan stood up. ‘We’d better get ready for work, Kala. We have that meeting first thing.’

No leisurely breakfast that morning then. There would be tomorrow. Saturdays they usually lay in bed a lot longer, making love most of the morning, before sharing a shower or a bath, then eating brunch and spending a few hours just talking. He loved Saturdays. More than that, he loved his life with them and he wanted nothing more than to be with them for the rest of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

Late that morning, Wolfgang headed out on a run. It was a good thing he went running regularly, what with all the delicious food Rajan liked to feed him. Working out was a big part of his life. As well as keeping him fit, it kept his mood level and his panic attacks at bay. Between that and his therapy sessions, he was doing well. He was happy and he didn’t need anything else.

He took the short way to the park and ran across the smoothly paved paths through the trees. As it was a weekday, there weren’t many people about. A few older people and some families with young kids. His cluster knew to stay away when he ran, unless he invited them. His runs were time for him to be alone with his thoughts.

Ahead of him, an older woman crossed the path, carefully carrying an ice cream and a takeaway coffee cup. He thought it was an odd combination until he spotted the small boy at her side.

‘Gra-mére, ma glace!’

‘Aies de la patience, mon chéri.’

They sat as he reached them and, as he passed, he saw the little boy grab enthusiastically at his ice cream. Wolfgang grinned as ice cream immediately got all over the boy’s mouth and his grandmother started to fuss. Then he was past them but they remained in his mind. She looked in her mid to late sixties, about the same age Oma would be. He hadn’t thought about her really in years. He’d got used to blocking out all thoughts of his family, until the events of the summer when he’d learned the power memories could have.

He remembered how kind she had always been and he found himself wondering what it would be like to have actual blood family who loved him in his life. But she probably wasn’t still alive. Fuck know what had happened to her after his father had thrown her out of their house. Even if she was, she might not want to see him. He might be too much like his father.

No, there was no point searching for her. Why rock the boat when he was happy?

He reached the end of the park and turned back, looping back towards home. He fancied a swim. Why not make the most of his day off?’

Every day, he was beyond grateful to Rajan for making sure they bought a flat with a pool. He swam almost every day. He just loved the peace of the water, the tranquillity. Everything seemed so simple as he swam, measured strokes making him glide through the water. He felt strong, unhurried and unpressured. Nothing could bother him here.

He never minded when one or other or all of the cluster joined him as he swam. They all loved the water, the peace and the simplicity of it. He was never surprised to have company as he swam.

Capheus was the usual suspect. He loved the feel of being immersed in water but it wasn’t something he got to experience often. Even now he had more money, water was still a precious commodity for him. Wolfgang loved Capheus’s joyful spirit. Everything was a pleasure and there was always a reason to be happy. He looked across at his friend as he swam beside him. He wore only a pair of shorts and Wolfgang let his gaze run over that dark, thickly muscled chest.

Capheus beamed at him, his own gaze taking in Wolfgang’s naked body appreciatively. ‘Looking good, my friend,’ he said as they broke the surface of the water together.

‘Danke. You too.’

He finished his length and turned, floating on his back in the water.

‘You’re thinking about something,’ Capheus said.

‘Trying to decide if it’s worth looking for something I lost a long time ago.’

‘Is it something good?’

‘I think so. She was then.’

‘Then you should look. Why should you deprive yourself of love and joy because you’re frightened?’

Wolfgang looked sharply at him, putting his feet down on the bottom of the pool. ‘I’m not frightened.’

‘Yes, you are,’ said Capheus, mildly. He still had that smile on his face and Wolfgang could feel his affection. ‘You’re afraid of spoiling things, because you’re happy, or of being rejected because you love this person.’

Wolfgang couldn’t argue, because Capheus was right. And they both knew it.

Wolfgang sighed and leaned back in the water. He felt Capheus’s hand touch his and they laced their fingers together for a moment, then Capheus was gone.

Wolfgang sighed then pulled himself out of the water and went for a shower.

The hot spray felt amazing on his body. The heat and the power of the water soothed his hard-worked muscles as it cleansed the sweat from his body.

He felt someone else with him and knew at once that it was Kala and she was worrying about him. He turned into her, kissing her lips tenderly and caressing her cheek.

‘You don’t need to worry about me,’ he murmured against her lips.

She pulled back to look at him. She was in her lab, so wore her white lab coat over her dress. The shower was soaking her, except not really because she wasn’t even there. Even after all this time, it wasn’t possible to think logically about their connection worked.

She reached up and smoothed her fingers across his furrowed brow. ‘Then why do you look like I do.’

He took her hand and kissed it. ‘You don’t really. I’ve just … I’ve been thinking about something and I haven’t decided what to do yet.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

‘Ja, when I’m ready.’

‘You’re not … avoiding things, are you?’

He smiled, holding her hand to his chest. ‘No. I’m just trying to work out what I want to do.’

The fingers of her other hand settled at his neck and she looked up into his eyes. ‘Just remember you can talk to me about anything and everything.’

He kissed her hand again. ‘I know, Liebling.’

Her cheeks darkened with pleasure and she cupped his cheek. ‘I love you,’ she said and pulsed her feelings at him.

He smiled. ‘I know. You should get back to work before Rajan notices you’re slacking.’

She laughed, pushing lightly at his chest. ‘I’m not slacking.’ She reached up to kiss his cheek. ‘We’ll be home on time.’

‘Can’t wait,’ he said, before she was gone.

Wolfgang went back to his shower. He meant what he said. He wasn’t keeping anything from her deliberately and he would talk to her, and to Rajan about it. He just had to work out what exactly he wanted and why he was hesitating.


	3. Chapter 3

It was mid-afternoon by the time Wolfgang sat down on the sofa to have some lunch. He’d claimed back his Rammstein t-shirt and had put on some black joggers after his shower. His hair was still damp. He settled down with his book and a sandwich. He was aware that the thoughts were still there but he was content to let it work itself out in the back of his mind.

He had eaten his sandwich and was curled up reading when he felt someone with him. It was a peaceful presence and she rested her blonde head on his shoulder. She just sat quietly with him, not speaking, and the only sound was the soft sound of Mozart coming from her house, on the piano by her dad’s skilful fingers.

‘She always sang to you,’ Riley said, softly.

He glanced at her, then closed his book and rested his head against hers. ‘My mother always said Oma gave us both her love for music.’

‘It’s a very special gift.’ Her long white fingers combed through his damp hair, stopping it drying too fluffy. ‘She gave you so much love.’

‘That was a long time ago. I was easier to love then, just a little boy. Now …’ He glanced at her again. ‘I’ve done bad things.’

She smoothed her hand across his back, then slid her arm around his shoulders and held him tight. ‘Only what was necessary to protect yourself, or Felix or us.’ Her warm brown eyes met his gaze. ‘You’re a good man, Wolfgang. Trust me, I know bad men and so do you. You’re not one.’

He held her gaze for a moment, then looked away, opening his book again. She stayed with him and he leaned into her embrace, enjoying the warm familiarity of her presence. She reminded him of his mother sometimes. She had that same innocent beauty about her and a vulnerability. She had been damaged by the world. But she had an inner strength his mother had never had. After all she’d been through, she probably wouldn’t still be there if she hadn’t had that strength.

Rajan and Kala were due back a little after five so at four, Wolfgang put his book away and went to start cleaning up and cooking. He wasn’t as romantic as Rajan but he did like to look after his lovers, however he could. It was one way, other than sex, that he showed them how much he loved them.

Riley had left at some point, gone back to Iceland with Will. Wolfgang could always feel them, always warm and happy. Their love was strong and a lot of the time, it felt like all part of the love between him and Kala. Sometimes it was as though the four of them was just one couple. He could see them now, curling up together on the sofa while Gunnar played his piano.

He tuned out. He wanted to listen to his own music while he cooked. He had a particular playlist for when he cooked, filled with lots of upbeat dance music. A bit of Daft Punk, Kesha and The Black-Eyed Peas, among others. He danced around, singing along as he made vegetable lasagne. He remembered making this for them back when they first got together. It was the first meal he’d ever made for them. Hernando had helped him then. He didn’t need help now. He even made his own garlic bread.

As he put the lasagne in the oven, he realised he wasn’t alone. Lito was dancing around the kitchen island, wiggling his hips and grinning.

‘Katy Perry!’ he declared as Firework came on.

Wolfgang laughed and couldn’t help joining in. None of the cluster could resist a good dance and the next second, they were all there, dancing together. Though most of them were somewhat distracted with whatever they were doing. Lito was the only one who was all in. He’d finished his latest film and had a few weeks off before the next one. He was using the valuable time to relax and enjoy himself.

Wolfgang loved to see him so happy, so free. He was living the life he’d always dreamed of. He had his career and he was living in Hollywood, most of the time, with the love of his life. He knew he missed his home, like Wolfgang did but that the life they had now was better than what had gone before.

The song ended and Lito leaned against the counter, breathing hard. ‘That was good, my friend. Ah, I love to dance.’

‘Me too.’

Lito looked at him. ‘You’re happy.’

Wolfgang looked back at him. ‘So are you.’

Lito shrugged but couldn’t keep the smile from his face. ‘I took a big risk and it paid off.’

‘I’ve never been afraid of risks.’

‘But you’re afraid of this.’ It wasn’t a question.

Wolfgang leaned against the counter beside him, fighting against his instinct to deny he was afraid. He knew Lito would see through it, even easier than Capheus had. ‘I have this … perfect memory of her as someone who loved me, someone who fought for me but … I was just a kid and now I know no one is perfect.’

‘You’re afraid that if you meet her, you’ll lose that perfect memory.’

Wolfgang chewed on his lip for few moments, craving a cigarette. ‘If I knew she wanted to know me … it would be easier.’

Lito reached out for him, his hand resting on the back of his neck and squeezing lightly. ‘Why wouldn’t she want to know you?’ He grinned. ‘A stubborn safe-cracker with a heart of gold? Who wouldn’t want to know you?’

Wolfgang snorted and grinned at Lito. ‘Sweet-talker. I’m not a movie character.’

Lito looked seriously at him. ‘I know you’re scared.’

‘Fear never fixed anything.’

Lito smiled. ‘You always say that.’ He put his arms further around Wolfgang’s shoulders. ‘You’re a braver man than me, Wolfie.’ He hugged him tightly to him. ‘We have faith in you, man.’

Wolfgang grinned, leaning comfortably into Lito’s hug. Lito was so free with his affection; it left nobody in any doubt about how he felt about them. Before, Wolfgang had only ever been like that with Felix. It felt good to have other family now, people he could be free with, people he knew he could always rely on.


	4. Chapter 4

Wolfgang felt when Kala was coming home. For a moment, he was in the lift with Rajan and Kala. He kissed Kala and murmured against her lips.

‘Welcome home.’

A soft smile spread across her face and Rajan grinned. ‘Who’s with you?’

‘Wolfgang. He’s made dinner,’ she said.

‘Tell him he’d better be hungry. I’ve made a feast,’ Wolfgang said, before returning to the kitchen. The timer was going off. As he took the lasagne out of the oven, the front door opened and his lovers came home.

‘Hallo!’ he called out. ‘Dinner’s ready.’

Kala was the first into the kitchen. ‘It smells delicious.’ She waited until he had put the hot dish down on the trivet and taken his oven gloves off, before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. He slipped his arm around her waist and held her close.

‘Hi,’ she murmured, as their kiss ended.

He grinned at her. ‘Hi.’

Rajan came up behind them and leaned in to give Wolfgang a kiss as well. ‘There’s our beautiful house-spouse.’

Wolfgang snorted. ‘Just today. I’m back to work on Monday.’

Rajan slid his hand across Wolfgang’s back. ‘Then we’ll just have to make the most of it for today. I’m going to freshen up.’

‘Don’t be long,’ Wolfgang called as Rajan stepped away. ‘I’m serving up now.’

‘I’ll be quick,’ he said, before heading back out of the kitchen.

Wolfgang started to serve up, though he was aware of Kala watching him, even as she retrieved the cutlery from the drawer for them. He glanced at her as she passed him the plates from the plate warmer. She looked worried.

He kissed her cheek. ‘Don’t worry, Leibling. We’ll talk later.’

She nodded, but he could still she was still somewhat worried. He knew it was normal; they had been through a lot together and she knew about all his struggles. It would be strange if she didn’t worry when she could tell there was something on his mind.

But right then, he was just going to focus on his lovers and have a special dinner with them. They often made a bit more of an effort on Fridays. Sometimes they went out but often, one of them would make a homecooked meal and they’d take their time to eat, talking and catching up after their busy week.

As Wolfgang and Kala carried the plates through to the dining area, they saw Rajan already at the table, opening a bottle of red wine. ‘I definitely need a drink tonight,’ he said. ‘It was non-stop meetings all day.’ He poured them each a glass and sat down with a sigh, as Wolfgang placed his plate in front of him. ‘Sometimes I hate the bureaucracy of being in charge.’

Wolfgang trailed his hand across his shoulders. ‘You do it really well though.’

Rajan smiled. ‘Flatterer.’ He reached for his hand and kissed it. ‘Don’t suppose you feel like giving me one of your famous massages at some point?’

‘Ja, no problem.’ He stroked Rajan’s cheek with his finger before pulling his hand away and sitting down with his meal. He took a sip of wine and murmured appreciatively. ‘If I’m sober enough, of course.’

As they ate, they chatted. Rajan told them all about his day, then Kala. She had had a better day, mostly spent in the lab, after the meeting first thing.

‘I feel so much better when I don’t have to sit in that boardroom all day talking about targets.’

‘I appreciate your support when you’re there though,’ said Rajan.

Kala raised her eyebrow. ‘I don’t always support you, Rajan.’

Both Wolfgang and Rajan smiled. ‘Well, I appreciate you calling me out when I’m wrong as well.’

Wolfgang grinned wider. ‘You have to give him credit, Kala. He is learning to accept when he’s wrong.’

Kala shook her head, smiling. ‘He’s just telling me what I want to hear.’

Rajan put his hand on his heart and looked offended. If Wolfgang didn’t know better, he’d think Lito was acting through him. ‘I am deeply hurt by your words, my love. I, of course, know that my dearest wife is always correct.’

Wolfgang leaned back in his chair, laughing. He did love this, just laughing and feeling good with his loved ones. Life was perfect, except for that one tiny thing missing.

Kala looked at him and he straightened as he realised she had caught his thought. ‘Do you want to talk now? About what’s been on your mind lately?’

Rajan’s gaze turned to him and he frowned. He put his glass down and reached out for Wolfgang. He touched him lightly on his arm. ‘Is there something wrong, my love?’

Wolfgang gave him a reassuring smile. ‘No. I love you both. I love my life. It’s only…’

‘What is it?’ Rajan asked.

Wolfgang sighed, taking another drink of wine then putting his glass down. ‘I keep thinking about my Oma.’

Rajan frowned. ‘Oma?’

‘Grandmother. My mama’s mother.’

Rajan sat back. ‘Oh. She was the one you were thinking about in the summer? She was in your good memories.’

Wolfgang cleared his thought. ‘Ja. She … she loved me, I know. And I’ve just been wondering, I dunno, whether she’s still alive, whether she might like to see me.’

‘You want to go and find her,’ said Kala, softly.

Wolfgang took a long breath. ‘I’m still deciding.’

‘What’s there to decide?’ asked Rajan. ‘She’s family, isn’t she? And if she loved you and was good to you, you should go to see her.’

Wolfgang shook his head. ‘It’s not quite that simple, Raj.’ He glanced at Kala for help to explain.

She reached out for his hand, taking it in hers and holding tightly. ‘Wolfgang’s mother was …originally his father’s stepdaughter.’

Rajan frowned. ‘Oh.’

He turned his gaze to Wolfgang and he was grateful for Rajan’s schooled expression. He had learned not to react too strongly to revelations about Wolfgang’s past. ‘Is that why you lost contact with your Oma?’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘I don’t remember very well. I didn’t know they were married when I was little, only later. I remember my father being in prison, when he got caught trying to hack an S&D safe. Oma came round then, a lot. Then when he got out of prison, he was drinking a lot and his temper got worse. One day he came back from drinking when Oma was there. He didn’t like seeing her and he lashed out. She stood up for herself, and for me, so he threw her out. We didn’t see her again. I don’t know what happened.’

He looked down at Kala’s hand gripping his. ‘She might not even be alive. Maybe he killed her too.’

Rajan took his other hand. ‘I think you should try to find out what happened. You’re obviously thinking a lot about it.’

Wolfgang held both their hands to his chest, taking in the comfort of their presence. ‘I … want to but …’

‘It’s frightening,’ said Kala gently.

Wolfgang tensed but he couldn’t deny it to her. She knew. She could feel it. He nodded.

Kala stood, stepping over to him and wrapping her arms around him. He turned his head into her chest and breathed in the scent that meant home and safety to him.

‘Whatever you decide to do, my love, we’ll be with you, every step of the way.’

After a moment, Rajan came to his side and joined in the embrace. Wolfgang could feel them both and he knew Kala spoke the truth. They would both always be there.


	5. Chapter 5

After dinner, they put a movie on and settled on the sofa. Wolfgang wasn’t too bothered about the movie. All he cared about was being with his lovers. Kala curled up against Rajan and Wolfgang settled on his other side, his arm around Rajan’s shoulders and his hand buried in Kala’s curls.

They’d had quite a lot of wine and were sleepy. But they just sat together, enjoying each other’s presence. Wolfgang thought about how peaceful his life was, how calm. He still went out with Felix but that urge to get as drunk as possible and fuck strangers was gone. That urge to seek the thrill of safecracking was gone. Now, he just wanted to be with them and to have a decent life.

He slipped his hand into the collar of Rajan’s t-shirt and started to rub his shoulders idly. Rajan sighed contentedly. Kala sat up a little, turning her attention to Rajan as well. She slipped her hand under the hem of his t-shirt, smoothing her soft hand across his belly. Wolfgang kissed the nape of his neck, breathing him in. At the same time, in his mind, he kissed her neck, fluttering his tongue over the hollow of her throat, the way he knew she loved.

In return, her mouth was at his ear, but also at Rajan’s and she whispered. ‘Let’s go to bed.’

Neither of them replied, but both moved and the three of them quietly made their way up to bed. They were tired but they craved that closeness. They didn’t need to do anything energetic; they just wanted to touch and caress each other.

Clothes were quickly shed and abandoned on the floor. They slipped into their large bed and hands explored each other. Wolfgang trailed his fingers down Rajan’s chest, a little softer than his own, the muscles not quite as defined. Wolfgang loved the slight curve of his belly, the way his smooth dark skin looked beneath his white hand.

Rajan gazed at him, his eyes intense as Wolfgang slid his hand over his thigh, touch featherlight. Kala’s fingers trailed down Wolfgang’s spine, curling over his buttocks, palm resting there. Her touch was warm and soft on his skin and he had to kiss her. Rajan, on his back beneath them, watched them as they kissed each other over him. Wolfgang could feel his hands on them both, trailing his hands down their sides to compare their different bodies.

Wolfgang could feel Kala’s need for him as they kissed, she reached for him, pulling firmly at him and he knew what she wanted. He flipped her suddenly and Rajan laughed as she ended up on her back beside him.

‘How does he manage to get both of us flat on our backs for him?’ he asked.

Wolfgang grinned, sitting back on his heels to take in the image of both of them lying before him. He could see both their arousal clearly enough. Rajan was hard and the look in his eyes was clear. Kala was flushed and she couldn’t stop herself from trembling. He could feel her arousal, coursing through both their bodies. He wrapped his hand around his cock, coaxing it towards full hardness. He wanted to be inside both of them all at once. But he couldn’t. He glanced at Rajan, unsure what to do.

Rajan grinned at him and reached for his bedside table. He grabbed the lube. ‘You start,’ he said, still with that grin on his face. ‘I’ll join in.’

Wolfgang smirked eagerly at him, then turned his attention to Kala. He lay his body on hers and kissed her mouth. Her legs wrapped around him as she returned his kisses and her arms went around his neck.

He kissed her jaw, licked her throat and nibbled lightly on her neck. Her hand went to the back of his neck, pressing him harder to her skin. He smirked and bit down, sucking and nibbling at her neck and feeling her arousal spike through her. She dropped her legs and he shifted slightly. Her thigh pushed between his legs and, through her, he could feel the heavy weight of his cock against her leg.

Rajan reached between them, his gentle hand finding her clit and fingering it lightly. Wolfgang gasped against her throat as he felt her pleasure. Her stomach tightened against his and her chest moved against his as she panted.

Rajan’s mouth was on his shoulder, kissing lightly, then harder. Then he bit down and a cry slipped from Wolfgang’s mouth. Rajan’s arm slid around his back for a moment, hugging him as he lay his head beside Kala’s. She turned into her husband and they kissed. Wolfgang could taste Rajan through her.

Even as he kissed Kala, Rajan’s hand trailed down Wolfgang’s spine and came to rest on his buttocks. He cupped one cheek firmly, then smacked it lightly and Wolfgang felt warmth spread through him.

Then one lubed finger slipped inside him. Wolfgang broke off from Kala’s throat and groaned. Kala squirmed beneath him, feeling his pleasure as Rajan’s fingers worked him. Wolfgang turned his head and claimed Rajan’s mouth in a kiss. Kala’s lips found their jaws, one at a time as they kissed each other.

Wolfgang broke the kiss with Rajan to gather Kala up in his arms, lifting her thighs up to meet him. He watched her face as he slid inside her. Her wet warmth welcomed him and her eyes shone with love.

He pressed close to her, nothing in between their bodies as he buried himself in her. Rajan held back, giving them this moment. That was one thing they’d learned about their relationship; it was important to have these separate moments, as well as time altogether.

He thrust deep and watched the way her lips parted, felt the way her hands clutched at him and listened to the soft sigh of pleasure that escaped her mouth. He loved the fact that _he_ gave her pleasure like this, that she looked at _him_ with that love in her eyes. Even after more than a year together, he still couldn’t get over that.

He rolled onto his side, taking her with him and felt Rajan slide in behind him. For a moment, nobody moved. They just felt each other. Wolfgang knew that Kala could feel Rajan through him; the three of them were all connected in that moment.

Kala trailed her fingers across his chest and Rajan kissed his shoulder. Wolfgang moved again into Kala and she clutched at him, eager for more of him. But then he had to hold still, because Rajan’s fingers were inside him again. He fucking loved that feeling.

Kala whimpered, missing the movement, yet experiencing his pleasure along with him. He kissed her; her softness against him was all he could think about. He ran his hands over her body, cupping her breasts, rubbing his thumbs over her nipples and watching her gasp and squirm.

Then Rajan was pressing against him, pushing inside him and Wolfgang had to close his eyes as he felt that amazing pressure of Rajan entering him. He could feel Kala watching his face now and he knew if he focused, he would see himself through Kala’s eyes. But he wanted to stay in his own body and really feel it as Rajan eased inside him. He was waiting for that moment. Rajan was going so slowly.

He reached round and pulled at his hip, eagerly, desperately. Rajan chuckled against his shoulder.

‘So impatient,’ he murmured into his skin.

But he pushed forward, abruptly, deeply and Wolfgang saw stars. He heard his own voice cry out and felt Kala clutch him tighter and gasp as his body thrust into her of its own accord.

They didn’t waste any time. They knew each other so well. There was no fumbling, no scramble for each other, no mismatched thrusts as they searched for their rhythm. They fell into sync with each other, their bodies entwining seamlessly with each other. They each knew the steps of this dance well by now.

Wolfgang kept one arm around Kala and one hand on Rajan’s hip, keeping them together as they made love in the quiet of their bedroom. Kala’s arm reached across them and grasped both their hands at Rajan’s hip. There was nothing else in the whole world but each other. They came together, wrapped in each other’s bodies and their shared pleasure.

Afterwards, they lay quietly together, exchanging lazy kisses. Rajan soothed the bite mark on Wolfgang’s shoulder with his mouth, and Wolfgang kissed the love bite that was starting to form on Kala’s neck.

She grinned at him. ‘Good thing we’re not going out tomorrow.’

He smirked. ‘You love it.’

She wound her arms around his neck and kissed him. ‘I love you.’

He kissed her back, then sighed, leaning back into Rajan’s embrace. Rajan kissed him softly on the mouth. ‘Love you,’ he murmured.

Wolfgang felt that familiar warmth spread through him at those words. He couldn’t feel Rajan’s love, the way he could feel Kala’s. But he knew Rajan loved him, loved both of them. He showed how much he did every single day of their lives.


	6. Chapter 6

Wolfgang woke to the warm cosy feeling of being in bed with his lovers. They were cuddled up together the way they usually were. Kala was in the middle, her head on his chest and Rajan spooning up behind her.

He buried his nose in her curls, breathing her in. She smelled like jasmine. He trailed his hand down, feeling her warmth beneath his fingertips. He smiled. He could feel her dreams. She was with them in her dreams and with all of the cluster. She was happy and he loved to feel that from her. He loved that he wasn’t fucking up her life anymore.

He knew she still worried about him; he could probably never stop that. And he worried about her and Rajan. Maybe that was part of being in a relationship. But her happiness was stronger than her worry. It radiated from her body and soul.

He looked into Rajan’s face. He looked pretty deeply asleep as well. He wished he could feel him too, his dreams, his moods. Though he didn’t feel any less close to Rajan than he did to Kala. They just had to work harder at it, talk to each other. He had to actively trust Rajan with his feelings. It was a conscious decision, rather than an unconscious event. He thought about the way Nomi loved Amanita. He knew, he felt, how strongly they loved each other and it could never be described as anything weaker than the way Will and Riley loved each other, or himself and Kala. As Will would say, love is love.

He reached out and trailed his hand along Rajan’s side, following the dip of his waist and the curve of his hip. It was strange to know another man’s body as well as his own. He never imagined he would be in a relationship with a man. He hadn’t particularly thought he’d ever be in a relationship with a woman either. But he hadn’t know then that it was almost impossible to ignore when you fell in love. He’d never known it could feel like that. He’d never known romantic love was really _real_. He’d thought it was just what people said when they didn’t want to be alone.

Rajan and Kala didn’t show any signs of waking up yet so he crept out of bed, went to the bathroom, then pulled some jogging pants on and headed out onto the balcony for a smoke. He felt better after his conversation with Rajan and Kala the night before. Things were clearer in his head and he knew they would always be there for him.

But he still wasn’t certain. There was thing, one … fear still in his head that he didn’t know how to articulate. He lit his cigarette and stood there silently smoking and gazing out at the city that had become his home.

It was some time before he glanced at the person who was standing with him, though he had been aware of her the moment she had joined him. She was smoking too and she looked mildly at him, always the epitome of calm. Well, almost always. Like him, she had a temper. They had many things in common, including the fear he couldn’t articulate. If there was one member of the cluster who could understand this particular fear, it was her.

‘What are you afraid of?’ Sun asked, always straight to the point.

He looked away, staring ahead at the cityscape. He could see the Eiffel Tower in the distance. He thought of that amazing night more than a year ago and he felt the warmth he always did when he thought of it. He took a deep drag on his cigarette, then breathed out slowly, watching the smoke disappear into the early morning air.

‘Sometimes, I look at my own face and I see my father.’

Sun considered him in silence, taking measured drags on her cigarette. ‘I can be ruthless like my brother.’ She gave him a look. ‘You drink too much like your father.’

He sighed and rolled his eyes. ‘I’m working on that.’

She watched him, puffing calmly on her cigarette. He felt comfortable with her. She never judged him. She understood him. She never expected anything more of him than he could give. He stubbed out his cigarette and chucked it in the ash tray.

‘My father hurt my Oma a lot,’ he said. ‘She hated him. What if…’ He trailed off, unable to articulate it. He fixed his gaze on the railing, not wanting to look at her.

‘What if she looks at you and sees your father?’ she said.

At length, he dragged his gaze up to meet hers and nodded. There was no judgement in her face, only understanding. ‘Do you … do you think I’m like him? In more ways than just the drinking.’

She considered him. ‘Maybe you have his jaw or his height but your choices make you the person you are. That is what matters.’

‘I know that, logically. Doesn’t change how I feel, how I’m scared she’ll feel.’

Sun nodded. ‘Your fear has never stopped you fighting. You fight for those you love.’

Wolfgang held her gaze for a moment, then nodded. ‘It is … weak if I’m still afraid?’

She looked evenly at him. ‘Fear is always part of us. You are I are used to fighting things we are afraid of but you can’t fight everything with your fists.’

‘I guess not.’ He glanced behind him and saw his lovers stirring in bed back in the room. ‘I’d better get back.’ He looked at her. ‘Thanks.’

She reached out and laid a firm hand on her shoulder. ‘You are not alone,’ she said, firmly.

He gave her half a smile, then went back inside.

Rajan was getting up to go to the bathroom when he got back in. He grinned at Wolfgang. ‘Good morning, my love.’ He kissed him, then smirked. ‘You’d better clean your teeth again before you kiss Kala.’

Wolfgang rolled his eyes. ‘Ja, I was going to.’

He glanced at the bed. Kala murmured contentedly in her sleep. He grinned. He could feel the edge of her dream. She was dreaming about him and Rajan, making love to her. Well, that was soon going to be reality.

In the bathroom, he cleaned his teeth while Rajan had a piss and a wash. Wolfgang looked in the mirror. They often did this, shared the bathroom. Though there were others they could use, Wolfgang liked this. It felt companionable and even more intimate than sex if he thought about it.

Rajan stepped up beside him to clean his own teeth. ‘Have you been talking to more of the cluster this morning?’ he asked, as he rinsed his toothbrush.

‘Sun,’ Wolfgang said, then spat and rinsed. He straightened and looked in the mirror. ‘She helped.’ He looked at Rajan in the mirror and found that kind, loving gaze on him. ‘I think I’m gonna do it,’ he found himself saying. ‘I’m going to try and find Oma.’

Rajan put his arm around his waist and squeezed lightly. ‘Good. If there’s anything I can do…’

Wolfgang smiled. ‘I know. Danke.’ He pulled away, dried his face and turned towards the door. He aimed a playful smack at Rajan’s backside. ‘Come on, Liebling, if you want that massage.’

Rajan grinned. ‘I’ll be in in a minute.’


	7. Chapter 7

When Wolfgang went back through to the master bedroom, Kala’s eyes were open and she was stretching in bed, still naked under the sheets. She smiled sleepily at him when she saw him and held out her arms to him. ‘Good morning.’

‘Morning,’ he said, giving her a smile.

She frowned at him. ‘You got dressed.’

He laughed. ‘I can soon fix that,’ he said and slid off his jogging pants. He went to her and she pulled him down on top of her, only the sheet between them. He kissed her, softly and sweetly at first but then she deepened the kiss, pulling him further into her. He kissed her slowly, deeply, putting his hand to her cheek, then burying his fingers in her dark curls.

He could feel his body responding to her, not just his arousal but also that warmth inside him, the one he had never felt before he’d met her. She had taught him how to love and now he knew he could never stop.

He felt Rajan join them. His hand was soft on Wolfgang’s back as he lay on the bed beside them. He kissed their shoulders and Wolfgang could feel him through Kala’s body as well as his own.

He turned his head, breaking away from kissing Kala to kiss Rajan in his turn. There was no rush, no other worries, just each other.

He slid off Kala on her other side, wanting to watch her and Rajan together for a moment. He felt the passion between them as their lips met and they pressed into each other. Once they had struggled with that. But they had learned each other so much more since then and the passion they felt consumed the three of them.

Wolfgang lifted the sheet and slid in beside Kala. As she kissed Rajan, he smoothed his hands across her silky soft sides, then leaned in and left a trail of kisses down her neck until he reached her chest.

He cupped her full breasts, taking in the sight of them. He loved every inch of her. To him, she was perfect and he wanted nothing more than to give her as much pleasure and happiness as possible. He leaned over and took a nipple into his mouth, grinning around it as she moaned softly into Rajan’s mouth.

One of them pulled the sheet away and Kala’s hand landed on his head, smoothing her fingers through his hair as he rolled her nipple against the roof of his mouth with his tongue. Her moans vibrated through him, body and mind, and her pleasure pulsed through him.

He moved lower, dropping kisses down her smooth belly until he settled himself between her legs. Her breath was coming hard now. He glanced up at Rajan, who was watching, his lips parted. They exchanged a look and Rajan grinned. He turned his attention to Kala, kissing her neck and cupping her breast.

Wolfgang moved lower. Kala’s thighs trembled beneath his hands. He spread her legs, opened his mouth and tasted her. With the first touch of his tongue, she gasped and he smirked up at her. He knew just how to make her squirm and moan. He licked slowly and she wriggled beneath him.

He glanced at Rajan again and saw he was giving plenty of attention to Kala’s upper half, kissing and sucking at her jaw, her neck, her breasts, trailing his hands across her flat belly. Wolfgang lapped slowly, teasingly at her clit, enjoying the way she whimpered and squirmed beneath the gentle pressure. He pressed his hands firmly down on her thighs, keeping her still beneath his attention.

He fluttered his tongue over her clit, increasing the pace. Through Kala, he could feel the attention that Rajan was giving her and he kept to his rhythm, allowing him and Rajan to work together to drive their lover crazy.

Her cries rose in eager response to their work and she writhed as much as Wolfgang’s grip would let her. He could feel her orgasm rolling towards her, making her body tingle and twitch. It was still a strange sensation to experience another’s orgasm but he loved it and the feelings only spurred him on as much as her cries and her writhing did.

Her hand clenched in his hair, her legs tightened around him, and she was coming, crying out unintelligible words in the quiet of their bedroom. When she stilled, he pulled back and exchanged satisfied grins with Rajan.

‘That was so fucking hot,’ murmured Rajan, his voice husky with arousal.

Wolfgang smirked, noticing Rajan’s hand sneak down to tug his cock.

‘Not so fast, Raj,’ he chided, with a mischievous grin. ‘You’re gonna need that later.’

Kala giggled and Rajan let go abruptly. Wolfgang moved across to him, grabbed him by the back of his neck and kissed him hard. He felt the answering tug of Kala’s arousal in her belly as she watched them.

He pushed Rajan backwards, manhandling him firmly onto his back and leaning over him. Rajan gazed up at him in submission and awe. Wolfgang kissed his mouth hard, reaching down and tweaking a nipple firmly. He grinned against his lover’s mouth as Rajan let out a surprised and delighted squeak.

‘Turn over,’ he murmured against him, then slid off him to allow Rajan to do as he was told.

Rajan turned onto his front, his head sideways on the pillow so he could see Wolfgang. Kala, her strength returning, sat up and reached for the vanilla massage oil, the edible one. They exchanged a smile, both on the same page.

Wolfgang poured a little of the oil onto his hands, enjoying the way Rajan trembled slightly in anticipation. He reached for him, spreading the oil over his back and beginning to massage it into the muscle. His hands worked firmly but gently on Rajan’s skin, working the muscles deeply, whilst caressing his skin. He straddled Rajan’s thighs, so he could get a better angle but also enjoying the feeling of that warm body he loved pinned beneath him. 

Kala lay beside Rajan, dropping kisses on his shoulder. Rajan moaned softly under the attention. As Wolfgang’s hands moved lower to work out the knots in Rajan’s lower back, Kala leaned and licked a path up his spine. He gasped and squirmed beneath Wolfgang. He could taste both Rajan and the vanilla through her.

He grinned and deliberately moved his hard cock against Rajan’s tight buttocks. He was going to be inside him later. He was going to fuck him until his cries of pleasure filled the whole apartment.

Kala smirked up at him, her expression a mirror of his own. ‘I want to watch you fuck him,’ she murmured.

Wolfgang grinned wider and Rajan turned his head towards her. ‘You two are gonna kill me.’

Wolfgang rocked his hips into his lover. ‘But what a way to go, ja?’

Rajan groaned. ‘Oh, god, yeah.’

Wolfgang laughed and slid off him. Together, he and Kala kissed their way down Rajan’s spine until they reached his buttocks. As Kala watched, Wolfgang spread Rajan’s cheeks and leaned in. Slowly, teasingly, he licked a path along his opening, dipping in lightly and smirking as Rajan bucked beneath him.

‘Ah fuck, Wolfie,’ he gasped.

Wolfgang held his hand out and Kala placed the lube into his palm. He exchanged an intense look with her, then returned his attention back to Rajan. He trailed his lubed finger in between Rajan’s cheeks, enjoying the way he trembled beneath his touch. He could feel Kala’s arousal too, pulsing through him, adding to his own.

He slid his fingers inside, slowly preparing Rajan to take him. He loved this part, almost as much as the fucking itself. He loved watching Rajan go to pieces, squirming beneath him and moaning softly.

But Rajan could only take it for so long and soon, he was begging for him. ‘Wolfie, please, please.’

Wolfgang grinned at Kala, who was watching him.

‘He’s ready,’ she murmured.

He nodded, pulling his fingers out and spreading lube onto his cock. He took hold of Rajan firmly by his hips, tugged him up and onto his cock in one movement. Rajan cried out, clenching around him and almost came. But he managed to get himself together. Wolfgang held still for a moment to let him adjust.

Kala lay back, her head on the pillow beside Rajan and her hand in between her legs. She watched them, her eyes intense with arousal.

Wolfgang stroked Rajan’s hip tenderly, then pulled back and thrust firmly. Rajan moaned, eagerly pushing back into him. Wolfgang fucked him slow and deep, keeping control of himself to give Rajan everything he wanted.

He tuned into Kala, feeling her arousal twitching through her body. She wanted more, she wanted Rajan inside her.

He paused, leaning over his lover. ‘She wants you to fuck her,’ he said.

Kala met his eyes and smiled. Rajan dragged himself up, pushing himself up on his hands. She slipped under him. Wolfgang eased them back so he could stand, creating the right angle so all three of them could connect.

Rajan slipped his arm around Kala, bringing her up to meet him and slipping inside her. They moved together, sharing one rhythm. Wolfgang closed his eyes, just feeling his lovers. Their pleasure was everything. Their moans and whimpers filled the air and Wolfgang allowed himself to lose himself in them.

They came together, as one, then collapsed onto the bed in a sweaty, satisfied pile. Both men lay with their heads on Kala’s chest and her arms around them for several minutes, just relishing the moment with each other. Here in this bed with both his lovers was definitely Wolfgang’s favourite place.

‘I’m hungry,’ he said, eventually.

Rajan pushed himself up on his elbow. ‘Shower, then pancakes? Or waffles?’

Wolfgang and Kala looked at each other and grinned. ‘Waffles,’ they said together.


	8. Chapter 8

After a pleasant shower together, Rajan and Wolfgang left Kala drying her hair and went downstairs. Rajan went straight to the kitchen to start on breakfast and Wolfgang sat down in the lounge with his book.

It was a little while before he realised he wasn’t really taking anything in. Despite promising himself he wasn’t going to worry today, he was thinking about his Oma. Now he’d decided to do it, he was feeling a bit lost. He didn’t know where to start. He didn’t even know Oma’s full name or her birthdate, or even what part of Germany she might be in now. It was hopeless really.

‘It’s not hopeless,’ said Nomi, tapping at her laptop.

He frowned, standing up into Nomi and Amanita’s loft in San Francisco. It was night there and Amanita was sleeping in the bed. Nomi was sitting at her desk, working at her computer. She wore her glasses and a solitary lamp lit the dark flat.

She glanced at him. ‘You’re being pessimistic, and we haven’t even started yet.’

He sighed and sat on her couch. ‘I know nothing about her really and the records from East Berlin back then have gotta be utter shit.’

She raised an eyebrow. ‘Probably. Let’s start at the beginning. What do you know? Name? Age? Any addresses?’

He shook his head. ‘No addresses. I don’t even know our address at the time.’ He ran his hands through his hair. ‘Er, her first name was Petra. She’d be … I dunno, late sixties or early seventies now.’

‘Hmm,’ Nomi said. She tapped at her keyboard for a few moments, then looked back at him. ‘Petra was the fourth most popular names for girls in 1950s Germany.’

‘See, I told you, it’s hopeless.’

She swivelled around on her office chair to look him and gave him a look over her glasses. ‘You’re being pessimistic again.’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘It’s my nature.’

Nomi swivelled back to her computer. ‘There are always ways to trace people. She was married to your father, right?’

Wolfgang rolled his eyes, letting his head drop back on the sofa. ‘Yeah. Before he kidnapped my mother. Did I ever tell what a humanitarian my father was?’

She didn’t rise to him. ‘I have a marriage certificate. Petra Tillich, born 1951, married Anton Bogdanow, born 1943, in October 1986. Is this her?’

He shot up and over to the screen. There was a picture, quite an old picture but he recognised her at once. She was almost the same as he remembered her, only a little younger. She had the kind eyes he remembered.

‘That’s her,’ he whispered, feeling tears spring suddenly into his eyes. He blinked furiously. Why was he crying? What the fuck was wrong with him?

Soft fingers stroked his arm, then a firm but gentle hand pulled him into a hug.

He buried her face in Kala’s warm neck and he no longer knew where he was, only that he was with her. He didn’t even know why he was crying but, safe with his face hidden in her, he allowed the tears to fall.

He could feel the whole cluster with him, their hands gentle on him, all there with him. He had to get himself together, had to get himself under control. This was stupid but it was like his feelings were an avalanche, taking over him.

‘Take your time,’ murmured Will.

Kala rubbed his back and held him tight. ‘It’s okay,’ she whispered.

He took a deep breath, breathing her in, then pulled back, wiped his face and focused. He looked around, meeting the eyes of every single one of his cluster. ‘I’m fine,’ he said.

He looked at Nomi. ‘Do you have a current address?’

She did a little more tapping. ‘Last address is a place in Mitte, about five years ago. There’s no contact number so I guess it’s just a case of knocking on her door.’

Wolfgang’s chest contracted in sudden fear as he imagined that and suddenly he didn’t want to do it. He wanted to ignore all of this, forget it all and just carry on with his life. Nomi stood up, crossed to him and took his hand. She took her glasses off and looked at him.

‘Sometimes you have to do something for yourself and if you don’t, you’ll regret it.’

He looked back at her and he could see the truth in her face. He nodded, glancing round at the cluster, who all looked back at him, support in their eyes. ‘I guess we’re going to Berlin,’ he said.

‘Great!’ said Rajan. ‘When are we going?’

Wolfgang turned around to find himself back in his own living room, with Kala standing beside him and Rajan in the doorway holding a plate of waffles.

‘Oh, you don’t need to come if you’re busy working. Either of you. I can take Felix.’

‘You don’t need to do difficult things on your own anymore, Wolfgang,’ Rajan said, gently but firmly. He came properly into the room and put the waffles down on the table. He caught Wolfgang’s hand, brought it to his mouth and kissed his wrist. ‘You’re not alone anymore, Wolfie.’

Kala laid her hand on the small of his back and rubbed gently. ‘We’re coming with you,’ she said, firmly. 

Wolfgang looked between them, looking into their eyes and absorbing the truth of their words. Then he gave them a small nod and pulled away.

‘Can we eat? I’m fucking starving.’ He felt them exchange glances, probably rolling their eyes at his typical avoidance tactics.

But he knew they accepted him regardless. As they sat around the table, eating their breakfast and planning the journey to Berlin, he was beyond grateful for them. He didn’t know where he would be now if it wasn’t for them but he knew it wouldn’t be good.

With them, everything was good. He wanted to find his Oma but if he didn’t, he’d still be just as happy. They’d go on as they were, living in Paris together, visiting Mumbai a couple of times a year, visiting with the cluster, and just making each other happy every single day.


	9. Chapter 9

Sunday, Wolfgang went for a run after breakfast. He left Kala and Rajan dozing, after yet another session in bed with them. He wasn’t full of energy himself, so he wasn’t planning on a long run. He wanted to call in to see Felix.

As usual, he let himself in to find Felix’s flat dark and quiet. He made his way into the bedroom and found Felix fast asleep in his boxer shorts, snoring loudly. There was an abandoned half-bottle of vodka by the bed and several empty condom wrappers on the floor.

Wolfgang grinned and leaped onto the bed beside him. Felix woke with a yell and a comical leap of his own.

‘Ah, fuck, Wolfie.’ Abruptly, he rolled on top of Wolfgang and pinned him down. ‘You cocky little fucker!’

Wolfgang giggled and Felix kissed him hard on the mouth before sliding off him, onto his back. Wolfgang grinned as he thought back to school. Everyone used to think they were fucking but it was never like that, not between him and Felix. He’d always felt safe with Felix, because Felix loved him but never fancied him. He still didn’t really know why Felix loved him but he knew he always would. That deep affection, the casual intimacy between them was easy because there were no expectations, just trust. For a long time, Felix had been the only one Wolfgang had trusted.

Felix lay next to him, his head on the pillow beside him. He looked at him. ‘Good thing I knew it was you, Wolfie or…’

‘Or what, Felix?’

‘Hey, I could beat you in a fight. I’m wily.’

Wolfgang snorted. ‘Just keep telling yourself that.’

Felix yawned, picking up his phone and looking at it. ‘Is it really Sunday already?’

‘Yeah. Did you go out again last night?’

‘No. Thursday like I said.’

Wolfgang raised an eyebrow. ‘Oh, just had some quality time with yourself last night then?’

‘Oi! No, I did not!’ He grinned. ‘Actually, the _two_ beautiful women I met Thursday night only just left a few hours ago.’

‘Nice.’

‘I’m fucking exhausted. Exhausted from fucking. What are you doing here, anyway, Wolfie? Haven’t you got any fucking of your own to do?’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘Spent all yesterday doing that. And the night before. And this morning. I’m just out on a run.’

‘Ah, so that’s why you’re wearing those tight little leggings. I can see more of your dick then that time you flashed me in the club.’

‘Only ‘cause you were too drunk to see straight that night.’

‘So were you.’

‘I never see straight,’ quipped Wolfgang.

Felix rolled his eyes. He sat up and reached for his half-empty vodka bottle and took a swig like it was water. He offered the bottle to Wolfgang who shook his head.

‘So, what brings you to my bed this morning, Wolfie?’

Wolfgang sat up next to him, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

‘Fancy making a visit back to Berlin?’

‘Why? You getting the urge to piss on your dad’s grave again or do you really miss getting threatened by gangsters?’

Wolfgang laughed. ‘No. I’ve … found my Oma.’

Felix turned to stare at him. ‘I thought your family were all dead.’

Wolfgang shrugged. ‘She might be but we found an address for her from five years ago.’

‘Your mama’s mother? Wow. You’ve never really talked about her.’

Wolfgang looked down at his hands and cracked his knuckles. ‘I tried not to think about her. She loved me but, well _he_ threw her out and we didn’t see her again. I sometimes thought he might have killed her too, like Mama, but I guess he didn’t.’

‘So now you want to see her?’

‘If I have family out there, good family, I should know them.’

‘I dunno, Wolfie, family never brought you anything good. That’s what you always said. Not worth the trouble, right?’

Wolfgang took a deep breath. ‘Yeah. But maybe it’s different now. Maybe family doesn’t have to mean that.’ He looked at his friend, his brother. ‘Felix, you’re my family. You and the cluster and Rajan. But … maybe she can be too.’

Felix let out a long breath. ‘Right, well if that’s what you want to do, course I’ll come with you. You know that.’ He nudged him. ‘First class on the train?’

Wolfgang rolled his eyes. ‘Probably. Rajan only ever travels first class.’

‘Typical.’ He stretched. ‘Well, I have no objection to him paying for me too.’

Wolfgang gave the nod to Kala and watched Rajan get on his phone from their bed and start to book the trains. ‘He’s booking right now.’

Felix shook his head, bewildered as always by the whole Sensate thing. He got up and stretched. ‘You want something to eat? I think I got a pizza in the kitchen somewhere.’

Wolfgang laughed. ‘No, thanks. We’re going out for lunch. You wanna come?’

Felix shook his head as he made his way towards his living area. Wolfgang followed him.

‘Nah,’ Felix said. ‘I’ve got an appointment with a takeaway pizza and a hair of the dog. My freezer’s full of vodka.’

Wolfgang nodded. ‘Like the old days.’

Felix shrugged. ‘Still the now days for me.’ He ruffled Wolfgang’s hair. ‘Not all of us can be all mentally healthy and shit.’

Wolfgang grinned at his brother. ‘It feels pretty great, you know.’

‘I know. It’s good seeing you like this.’ In the kitchen, Felix poured himself a mug of water and took a long drink. Then he looked at Wolfgang. ‘You nervous?’

Wolfgang shrugged but he couldn’t lie to Felix. ‘Yeah, kinda.’

Felix reached out for him, ruffling his hair again then wrapping his arm tightly around his shoulders and kissing the top of his head. ‘Well don’t worry, Wolfie. I’ll protect you from the big bad gangsters.’

Wolfgang burst out laughing and hugged his friend back tightly. He knew the real emotions behind the words and he had faith that Felix would always, _always_ , be there for him. No matter what happened.

He left Felix to his hair of the dog and headed back home. As he approached home, he could feel Kala. He grinned as he realised where they were. They must have finished booking because they were in the shower. He could feel their heat, feel the passion between them both. He loved to feel it, loved to see it. He loved to watch them together, sharing pleasure and love with each other.

As he got in the flat and stripped off, he thought back to how he used to feel. Before he’d actually met him, he’d been jealous of Rajan, because he got to be with Kala and he didn’t. But now, he didn’t feel jealous anymore. He knew she loved them both. It was still unbelievable to him that they had both welcomed him into their lives and that he had actually allowed himself to fall in love with Rajan. It didn’t seem like something Wolfgang Bogdanow would do but there it was. He couldn’t deny reality.

He slipped into the bathroom and grinned as he saw them. They were all soapy and were kissing lazily under the hot shower spray. Kala felt him there and her physic self took his hand and guided him into the shower with them. He allowed them to tug him into their embrace, the same way they had welcomed him into their lives.


	10. Chapter 10

They’d boarded the train early that morning, the four of them. It was a week after they’d decided to go so Wolfgang had had some time to get used to the idea. But now they were actually on their way, he was starting to get nervous.

He was doing a good job of keeping it to himself though, he thought. He was joining in the conversations since they’d set off and any time Rajan, Kala or Felix caught his gaze, he gave them a smile.

He was enjoying the journey. The seats were beyond comfortable and he liked watching the countryside change as the train sped through France and into Germany. Rajan was enjoying himself immensely and kept pointing out landmarks to the others. Wolfgang couldn’t help but smile. It was almost as if he had forgotten that two of them were from this part of the world.

He kept thinking back to that picture Nomi had found. He had saved it on his phone and he had kept sneaking looks at it over the past week, trying to memorise her face. He had been so young when he’d last seen her that her face had been fuzzy in his memory for a long time. But it was getting stronger again. He kept trying to work out what she might look like now. According to the dates on the marriage certificate, she’d be sixty-eight. Did she have wrinkles? White hair?

Had she had a good life? Had she married again? Maybe she had a whole other family. _Fuck, maybe she won’t even want me. Maybe she’s got a whole new family now. One that isn’t fucked up._

Kala’s hand landed on his knee and squeezed gently. ‘You’re shaking,’ she said, just to him.

Wolfgang cleared his throat, sat up straight and looked out of the window. ‘Just nervous,’ he said and focused on stopping his legs from shaking.

Kala kept her hand on his knee and that helped a little. In their minds, she wrapped her arms around him and held him to her. He rested his head on her chest, closing his eyes and basking in her warmth. She had him. She _always_ had him.

He wanted to Oma to know Kala. She was worth knowing. He was proud of her, proud that she loved him. He glanced across at Rajan, wondering how to explain him to her. Would she understand? There was a lot about him he wouldn’t be able to explain to her, but he had promised he would never keep Rajan a secret. He just had to hope she would understand.

Fuck, he really wanted a smoke. His leg was twitching again, despite Kala’s hand on his knee. He cracked his knuckles, trying to distract himself from needing a cigarette. ‘You need some music,’ said Riley in his ear.

Wolfgang smiled gratefully at her. He saw her in her living room. She crossed to her sound system and put on a song he knew.

I feel you  
Your sun it shines  
I feel you  
Within my mind  
You take me there  
You take me where  
The kingdom comes  
You take me to  
And lead me through Babylon

This is the morning of our love  
It's just the dawning of our love

He grinned and the next moment, he was in Riley’s living room with all the cluster around him. The music surrounded them and they moved as one, dancing together as one. They were all there with him, for him. He knew they would fight for him, whatever kind of fight that might be.

Kala kissed him, moving her body with him. Will slid his arm around his waist and sang with him. Nomi held his hand. Capheus jumped on him and hugged him tight. Lito’s hand was firm on his hip as he moved behind him. Riley’s soft hair tickled his cheek as she kissed his shoulder, her hand gentle on his back. Sun leaned against him, giving him one of her rare but full and brilliant smiles.

He felt something settle inside him, the way it always did when he felt his cluster with him. He was whole with them. He loved them. He loved them and they loved him so much that it made him forget what hating himself even felt like. All those years of self-loathing were nothing now because he had them. He had people in his life who would fight for him, whatever the cost.

‘Fucking hell, I would actually kill for a cigarette.’

Felix’s voice brought Wolfgang back to the train. He laughed, looking across at Felix who was sitting next to Rajan across from him and Kala. He was glad they had a private compartment with the volume of Felix’s swearing. The man was almost incapable of censoring himself.

‘Ah I think it’s a non-smoking train,’ said Rajan, in his helpful voice.

Wolfgang grinned and shook his head. ‘If he didn’t know that he’d have lit up already. Actually, Raj, I wouldn’t mind a smoke either.’

Rajan looked up the itinerary on his phone. ‘We have to change trains in about an hour. Can you hold on until then?’

Wolfgang nodded but Felix grumbled.

‘It’s a pisstake really. You always used to be able to smoke on trains.’

‘Oh but it smells so much better now, doesn’t it?’ said Kala.

Felix shrugged but conceded the point. Wolfgang looked out of the window again. They were in a more urban area now. Only a few hours to go and he’d be back in Berlin, back where the whole of his life had happened, right up to his Sensate birth. He’d never really thought about it before but so much shit and pain was bound up with this place. He still loved it but... he knew he could never settle there again, not after everything. His home was Paris now, and Mumbai really. Anywhere Rajan and Kala counted as home, that was where he belonged too.

Even if he did find loving family here, he knew he could never move back, not as long as he had Rajan and Kala. It was part of him, part of his life, but he was into a new part of his life now, a better one.

At last, they were checked in the hotel in Berlin and they could relax. It had been a tiring journey. Of course, Rajan had chosen the best rooms in the most expensive hotel in Berlin. Wolfgang had told him it wasn’t necessary but Rajan loved luxury so he hadn’t argued too much. And a cheaper room would have meant a smaller bed.

As he lay back on the huge, luxuriously soft bed, he was grateful for Rajan’s habit of overspending. He played it cool but he would not have enjoyed having to sleep separately from them. Their presence kept him safe in his dreams.

He put his hands behind his head and just lay there, as Rajan unpacked and Kala freshened up in the ensuite. Felix was in the next room, probably already in his underwear watching the TV, and eating and drinking everything in the minibar.

Wolfgang probably wouldn’t have bothered unpacking but Rajan was particular. He smiled. He did love that about him.

They’d decided to go out for a meal that night, to show Rajan and Kala a bit of Berlin. Rajan had been practising his German food words all day. Maybe they could go out clubbing afterwards, show them his old haunts. Then tomorrow, he was supposed to go to the address they’d found and see if Oma was there.

Kala came out of the bathroom, took her shoes off and lay down on the bed beside him. His arm slid around her waist and she rested her head on his chest, her hand sliding over his belly and resting where that scar was, under his belly button.

‘How are you feeling about being back in Berlin?’ she asked softly.

‘I’m looking forward to showing you around properly.’

She looked up at him. ‘And … tomorrow?’

He glanced at her, then away again, watching the way the curtains moved in the breeze from outside. ‘We’ll see. Maybe I’ll leave it a bit.’

Her gaze was still on him and he could feel her trying to feel his feelings. ‘I know you’re nervous but this is what we came for. If you do not go to see her, you will regret it, love.’

He laid his hand on her arm, rubbing his thumb over her soft, warm skin. He took comfort in her presence but he didn’t answer her. He couldn’t articulate his fears, not even to her.

At that moment, for all he knew, Oma could be dead. Or she could have been thinking about him all this time, desperate to see him again. Or she could hate him, imagine him as his father and never want to set eyes on him ever again.

Right then, it was easier to not know either way.

Kala shuffled up so she could kiss him softly on the lips. ‘You know we’re with you.’

He looked into her dark eyes, so full of warmth and love, and sighed contentedly. ‘I know.’


	11. Chapter 11

Felix was ecstatic about being taken out to a posh restaurant with them. He’d even worn a shirt, a multicoloured, slightly blinding shirt but a shirt nonetheless. Wolfgang had suggested a fancy place he had never been to but had always wanted to go to.

Wolfgang could tell Rajan was excited too. The whole time they were getting dressed he’d been muttering to himself in German and checking his phrasebook. Even when Wolfgang had kissed his neck as he’d fixed his collar, he hadn’t been distracted.

It felt good, walking through the streets of Berlin, holding Kala’s hand. She looked beautiful, in her red dress chosen to match Rajan’s red shirt. Wolfgang had reverted to type and gone for all black. Being back here, he felt on edge, nervous like he had to be on alert all the time. Though he knew his enemies were gone, he couldn’t help it. The criminal underworld of Berlin had moved on without him. He wasn’t part of that world anymore. He had a new world now.

‘It’s strange being back, isn’t it?’ Kala asked.

He smiled at her. ‘You’ve never been here before.’

‘Only technically. We both know how often I was here with you. It feels different now, doesn’t it?’

Wolfgang took a deep breath. ‘It is different now. This is not my world.’

She squeezed his hand. ‘I know.’

He looked ahead, to where Rajan was walking with Felix, talking in simple German, and smiled.

Rajan liked to sort things out so he got their table and ordered some wine in capable German. Wolfgang was proud of him. He’d worked hard to learn as much German as he could and it wasn’t an easy language. He hadn’t even had to learn it because they could communicate perfectly well in English or Hindi, or even French which Rajan was already reasonably proficient in. But no, he’d learned German, just to make Wolfgang happy. It was unbelievable but that was the kind of man Rajan was.

‘Need any help with the menu, Raj?’ Wolfgang asked.

‘No, I think I’ve got it.’ He showed his menu to Felix, who was next to him. ‘That’s meatballs, right?’

Felix slapped him on the back enthusiastically. ‘That’s right, my friend. Good choice.’

Rajan beamed. The waitress came over. Rajan was the last to order.

‘Ich möchte den Königsberger Körper essen bitte,’ he said, his accent perfect. But his words weren’t quite right.

Wolfgang supressed a smile and looked at the waitress. She blinked, then smiled kindly at him. ‘Den Königsberger Klopse. Of course, sir.’

Wolfgang managed to hold back his laughter but Felix was smirking and Kala was desperately trying to keep her giggles behind her hand. Rajan looked between them, adorably bewildered. That was al it took for Wolfgang to lose his control and the next moment they were all laughing.

Rajan, guessing he’d said something wrong, grinned. ‘What did I say?’

‘Er, well you said “Körper” instead of “Klopse”, so you ordered a body instead of meatballs,’ said Wolfgang.

Rajan blushed. ‘Oops, it’s a good thing she knew what I meant then!’

Wolfgang grinned. He reached for Rajan’s hand, brought it to his mouth and kissed it. ‘Other than that, it was great and your accent is flawless, Liebling.’

Rajan beamed at him, the blush now one of pleasure rather than embarrassment. Wolfgang felt his chest tighten with that now familiar feeling of love.

By the time their food arrived, the conversation had changed topic a couple of times. Halfway through their food, Kala asked the question he didn’t really want to answer.

‘So, what are your plans for tomorrow?’

He glanced at her, then away. ‘Hey, Felix, we could go to that breakfast place.’

‘Oh, yeah!’ said Felix. ‘That place is fucking amazing. Best hangover cure in the whole entire fucking world.’ 

‘That sounds nice,’ said Kala. ‘But after that you’re going to Mitte, right?’

Wolfgang sighed. ‘Can we talk about something else?’

‘Yes but you _are_ going to do it, aren’t you, Wolfgang?’ she persisted.

He looked at her and felt the muscles in his jaw clenching. ‘Just leave it.’

There was a moment of tension as she matched his hard gaze. Then Rajan cleared his throat.

‘These Königsberger Klopse are really good. I’m glad she didn’t bring me that Körper I ordered.’

Wolfgang dragged his gaze away from Kala and found his smile again. ‘Sometimes it pays to trust your wait staff.’

Inside his head, Kala slid her arms around him and held him close. ‘I know you’re nervous but it’ll be okay. We’ll find your Oma tomorrow.’

He didn’t respond to her and he knew he was being a cunt but he couldn’t stop himself. Now he was here, in Berlin ready to go and actually meet her, he couldn’t do it. It was safer to just leave Oma in the past, leave those good memories he had of her alone. Kala didn’t understand that. Her childhood was all love and joy and colour. She didn’t understand that when your past was filled with hate and pain and darkness, you held on to the little amount of love and happiness there was. He didn’t want to risk having to let go of that.

Kala didn’t push it any further. Wolfgang was grateful for that. He wanted to explain it to her but he couldn’t. He would just focus on having a good time on the visit and keeping his lovers distracted.

After dinner, they headed out to a club Wolfgang and Felix used to frequent, one of their favourites.

‘It’s not a queer club,’ said Felix as they queued up. ‘But they play the music the gay guys like, which the straight girls also like so I was happy.’ He laughed, slinging his arm around Wolfgang’s shoulders. ‘And he was happy whatever mood he was in.’

Wolfgang laughed. ‘For the first time in this club, I’m not trying to pick anyone up.’

Rajan slid his arm around him and leaned in to kiss his cheek. ‘Well you’re already onto a sure thing.’

Wolfgang grinned at him but his attention was on Kala. He was still worried he’d upset her. But she smiled at him and slipped her hand through his. He felt nothing but understanding from her and god, he loved her so much for that.

‘Well, I am up for fucking some pretty girls tonight,’ said Felix. ‘I’m sure I can find some enthusiastic girl.’

‘Well you’ve got a big enough bed in your hotel room,’ said Wolfgang.

They headed into the club. Wolfgang immediately felt the music lighten his mood. Like Riley said, sometimes you needed music. The music surrounded him, surrounded them all. It wasn’t just the four of them, it was the whole cluster as well, dancing all together.

‘Ugh, Wolfie, I fucking miss this!’ Felix yelled over the music. He hugged Wolfgang tight. ‘Don’t you miss this?’

‘Sometimes.’

Felix looked sharply at him suddenly, then tugged on his arm. ‘Come on. Smoke break.’

Felix dragged him out to the smoking area, leaving Rajan and Kala behind dancing together. It was quieter outside, though there was still plenty of people round. They’d spent a lot of time in the fenced off patio which served as the smoking area, sometimes more time than they did dancing. Felix lit Wolfgang a cigarette, then one for himself.

‘So, what’s going on with you, man?’ Felix asked, blunt as usual.

Wolfgang looked at him and shrugged, then looked away. ‘Dunno what you mean.’

Felix scoffed. ‘Sure you don’t. I know you, brother.’

Wolfgang smoked in silence. He felt Felix’s eyes on him. His best friend did know him too damn well.

Felix grabbed his arm suddenly, tugging him round to look at him. ‘Why are you being such a chickenshit?’

Wolfgang blinked. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, go and see your Oma, for fuck’s sake. You’re here, you’ve come all this way, so go and see her. No more whimping out. Just do it.’

Wolfgang opened his mouth then closed it again, frowning and staring at the ground. He didn’t say anything and eventually Felix let him go.

‘I was thinking about coming back here again. I do still own Sebastian’s club, you know.’

Wolfgang sighed. ‘If that’s what you want to do. It’s your life. You don’t have to stay in Paris just because that’s where I am.’

Felix glanced at him. ‘Not all year, just sometimes.’ He grinned. ‘I can be international.’

Wolfgang smiled. ‘Yeah.’ He frowned. ‘Felix … what if … she doesn’t want to see me?’

Felix shrugged. ‘Then you’ll know. Look, Wolfie, you can’t control what other people do. You just gotta do what’s right for you.’

‘But I don’t know what’s right.’

‘Then do what your best friend tells you and I’m fucking telling you to go to see her. Tomorrow.’

Wolfgang looked at him, feeling lost. Felix shook his head in exasperation and slung his arm around his shoulders. He kissed his cheek hard.

‘It’s a good job I love you, you stubborn cunt.’

Wolfgang couldn’t help but laugh. He put his arm around Felix’s waist and held on tight to him. Maybe he could do it. Maybe it was worth it just to try and see what happened. It could lead to something wonderful.


	12. Chapter 12

Wolfgang woke slowly to find himself naked in bed with Kala beside him and Rajan on her other side. His smiled, remembering the soft but electric touches they’d shared the night before. The memory was fuzzy from the alcohol, not that they’d had that much, but it was warm and pleasant.

He spooned up against Kala. She was naked too and he slid his arm around her waist. She was warm and soft beneath his hand.

She stirred, moving against him and murmuring contentedly. He smiled and kissed her shoulder. He felt her remembering the night before and he felt the arousal that came with it.

He combed his fingers tenderly through her dark hair, then brushed it aside so he could kiss her neck. She moaned softly and he kissed her again.

She turned into him, reaching for him and scratching her fingernails against his stubbled jaw, the way she knew he liked. He met her soft lips in a kiss, tender at first then harder as their passion increased. Her fingertips created trails of heat along his spine and he moved against her, arousal building as her heat and softness surrounded him.

She gazed at him, intense and smiling. He knew what she wanted. She opened her thighs and wrapped her legs around him. Watching her face, he slid inside her.

Her legs were tight around him, pulling him in, and he stayed close, burying himself deep inside her. Her cries of pleasure were soft and quiet and all he wanted to do was create more of them.

Her eyes were bright in the semi-darkness of the room and he gazed at her, watching the pleasure on her face as they made love. The room was filled with their soft cries and sighs of pleasure.

He took her right to the edge of her pleasure, keeping control of himself until he felt her legs start to twitch around him. Then he let himself go, thrusting into her as they both came together, holding on tight to each other.

Afterwards, they lay together in a warm, happy embrace. She rested her head on his chest and he nuzzled into her hair, breathing in her scent.

Her hand was on his arm, gently tracing his skin. ‘Have you decided what you’re going to do?’ she asked, gently. He could sense she was worrying about upsetting him. He felt a stab of guilt; he never wanted to make her feel like that. He never wanted her to tiptoe around him. 

‘I’m sorry I was being a dick last night. Just …’ He swallowed. ‘Just scared, I guess.’

She shifted back slightly to look up at him. ‘I know.’ Her voice was soft and her fingers tenderly stroked his jaw. ‘So you’re going today?’

Wolfgang sighed. ‘Yeah. Felix told me to stop being such a chickenshit and just do it.’

Kala chuckled. ‘Sounds like Felix.’

He shrugged. ‘Well, someone has to cut through my bullshit.’ He lay back, still keeping his arm around her. ‘I still want to go to the café though. Thinking, we’ll go there, then I’ll leave you in Felix’s capable hands while I go to Mitte.’

‘You don’t want us to come with you?’

He shook his head. ‘This is something I have to do on my own. If … if it all goes well, I’d like you to meet her but, well, at the right time.’

‘I can understand that. I’ll make sure the others stay away as well.’ She smiled. ‘Even Will.’

Wolfgang smiled. ‘He’s been very good lately. I guess that means I’m doing well.’

She smiled and hugged him. ‘You are.’

Beside them, Rajan stirred and stretched. ‘Ugh, this bed is so comfortable.’

‘It should be for the price of this room,’ said Wolfgang.

‘Worth every cent,’ said Rajan. He glanced at them. ‘Can I join in this cuddle?’

‘Of course,’ said Wolfgang.

Rajan smiled and shifted over. Wolfgang extended his embrace to include Rajan and the three of them cuddled up together.

‘Mmm, this is nice,’ Rajan murmured. ‘I wish we could do this all day every day.’

Wolfgang smiled. ‘Maybe tomorrow. This afternoon, I’ve got something important to do.’

Rajan looked at him and smiled. ‘Glad to hear you’ve made the right decision.’

Wolfgang smiled back.

Felix had had a good night. Wolfgang met his ‘enthusiastic girl’ when he went to Felix’s hotel room to fetch him. She smiled shyly at him as she slipped her high heels back on before making herself scarce. Felix was full of himself, bragging about his pick up all the way to the café. The girl was beautiful.

The breakfast was every bit as delicious and satisfying as they had remembered. The perfect following to a night of drinking.

Wolfgang’s nerves crept up on him again. He bounced his foot up and down, shaking his whole leg. Will’s hand landed on his knee, steadying him. ‘It’s normal to be nervous.’

Wolfgang glanced at him. ‘I know. I’ll be okay.’

Will squeezed his knee and smiled. ‘I know you will. I know you want us to stay away and we will but, if you need us…’

Wolfgang smiled at him. ‘I know where you are.’

Will nodded, then he was gone. Wolfgang took a deep breath, finished his coffee and cleared his throat. ‘Right, I’m gonna head off.’ He leaned in to kiss Kala’s cheek. ‘I’ll let you know when I’m ready to meet up again.’

He pulled his jacket on as he stood up. Then he kissed Rajan as well. ‘Don’t let Felix talk you into anything wild.’

‘Hey!’ said Felix. ‘I resent that.’

Wolfgang just smiled and started to head off.

As he passed him, Felix grabbed his hand. ‘Oi, where’s my kiss?’

Wolfgang laughed and kissed Felix on the top of his head. ‘Behave, brother, if you can.’

Kala was nervous for Wolfgang. It was hard to resist the pull to be with him but, with a little focus she could do it. They’d decided to stay at the café for a little while, so she went up to the counter to order another round of coffees for them. She never used to like coffee, before her Sensate birth. She’d always preferred tea, usually chai. But with so many of the cluster being more than a little obsessed with coffee, particularly Nomi, Wolfgang, Will and Riley, she’d developed a liking for it.

After ordering and paying, she turned a little too abruptly and almost bumped into a woman standing behind her.

‘Entscheidung Sie gnädige Frau,’ she excused herself.

The woman, who was an average middle-aged woman with kind, twinkly eyes, looked oddly at her for a moment, then smiled.

‘Don’t worry, dear,’ she said in German.

Kala returned to her table but noticed the woman shoot her another curious glance before she left the café with her takeaway coffee.

It had been a long time since Wolfgang been to Mitte. He had to use his phone for directions and he probably looked like a tourist. He grinned to himself at that irony, considering this was where he had been born. He focused purely on the journey, trying not to think of what lay ahead. He was good at ignoring his fears and he just had to do that. Just do it, like Felix said.

The address was in a block of flats. The area wasn’t well-to-do but it wasn’t rough either. Probably an up and coming neighbourhood. He took the lift up the third floor and ambled down the corridor until he came to the right door.

He took a deep breath and knocked. There was no answer.

He stood there, biting his lip. How long to wait before he could accept she wasn’t there. Maybe it wasn’t even his Oma’s flat. Maybe she had moved on. Maybe she had died.

‘Who are you?’ came a tense, suspicious voice behind him. ‘What are you doing knocking on my door?’

Slowly, Wolfgang turned and looked into the eyes of his Oma.


	13. Chapter 13

Oma stared at him, like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. He stood still, just watching her and waiting. He recognised her easily; she didn’t look too different from how he remembered. A few wrinkles, a few white hairs but she looked quite young for her age. She had a kind face, with laughter lines around her eyes.

She wore a good quality leather coat and held a red spotty travel cup. Her gaze was taking him in too. Did she recognise him?

‘Are you … are you really here?’ she asked softly.

‘You know who I am?’

‘I searched for you for years.’ She smiled. ‘Wolfgang, you look just like your Opa.’ She shook her head. ‘Listen to me, chattering on the doorstep. Come in.’ She pulled out her keys from her pocket and walked carefully past, opening her front door. ‘Come in, please.’

He stepped inside, aware he hadn’t really said much. His nerves were making him shut down. He worried inside his head that she’d think him cold, aloof, but he didn’t know how to change his behaviour. He wasn’t Lito; he couldn’t put on a show. For a moment, he considered letting Lito help but he wanted this to be just them.

Oma took her coat off and hung it up, before turning to smile at him. ‘I can see you’re nervous. Sit down. I’ll get you a drink. Maybe not coffee if you’re already a bit shaky. Ah, I know. Orange juice. You always liked that.’

He watched her busy herself in the kitchen. He sat on the sofa and tried to think of what to say. She said she had searched for him. Had she really thought of him over all these years?

She handed him his drink and sat on the armchair opposite him. She looked at him and he noticed her eyes were wet with tears. ‘I’d really like to hug you, but it’s probably too soon.’

‘Ja,’ he said and took a drink. What was he supposed to say here?

‘I came to your uncle’s house,’ she said. ‘Years ago, when I heard about … Anton’s death. It was the first I’d heard of any of you for years. Sergei told me you had run away. Was that true?’

‘No. I was there. I had nowhere else to go.’

She looked down. ‘I should have tried harder. I… I kept trying to get back in to see you and your mama, but he would never let me in. The last time, he broke three ribs, cracked my skull and …’ She broke off and looked away and he could feel her distress.

‘I know what he was capable of,’ said Wolfgang, shortly. He’d probably done the same to Oma as he’d done to Mama, and to him.

She looked back at him and an understanding passed between them. ‘I know you do,’ she said. She blinked away her tears and smiled again. ‘You look so good, Mäuschen, happy and healthy.’

‘I am. You said I look like Opa. I don’t remember ever seeing him.’

‘He’s been dead for a long time, Mäuschen, since your Mama was little.’ She pointed to the side table. ‘That’s a picture of him there. He was a good man.’

Wolfgang turned his head and looked at the photo frame standing on the table. The young man in the picture did look remarkably like him. He recognised his own cheekbones, his hair, his build. It was good to see himself in a male relative who wasn’t bad.

‘We were so young when we had Irina, too young really, but we were happy, for a little while.’

‘What happened to him?’

She frowned. ‘It’s a little complicated. He died protecting a friend of his, from China.’

Wolfgang raised an eyebrow. ‘How did he meet someone from China?’

Oma smiled. ‘That’s even more complicated. Tell me about you, Wolfgang. Where are you living now?’

‘I live in Paris now, with …’ He smiled. ‘This might sound strange to you but I live with my lovers. Kala and Rajan. They’re married to each other but … well, they love me too.’

Her eyes widened a little in surprise but then she smiled. ‘It’s good to hear you’re loved. Have you got a career?’

‘Things haven’t always been good there. I … I did some bad things.’

‘I know Sergei was involved with the criminal underworld. I imagine you had little choice.’

‘At first.’ He looked down. ‘But I made my choices as an adult and I won’t shy away or excuse myself from that. But I don’t do things like that anymore. I don’t want to do bad things.’ He looked up at her. ‘I work in my friend’s key shop now. I like safes. I’m happy.’

She smiled. ‘That’s really good to hear. Do you see your mama much? How is she?’

Wolfgang stared at her. ‘You don’t know?’

‘Know what, Mäuschen?’

Wolfgang stood up and started to pace as the image of his mama’s bloody, blank face flashed through his mind. He dragged his hand through his hair. ‘Scheiße,’ he muttered. He could feel Oma watching him. How was he going to explain this to her, that her daughter had been murdered?

He felt her stand and approach him. She reached out and gently laid her hand on his arm, bringing him to a stop.

‘It’s all right, Mäuschen. Just tell me.’

He looked at her and he could feel tears in his eyes. ‘He … he killed her, Oma. He raped her and beat her to death in front of me.’

‘Oh,’ Oma sighed, her voice little more than a whimper. He heard her swallow hard, then she pulled him gently into her and hugged him. He pressed his face to her shoulder and breathed in the sweet, spicy scent of her perfume, and immediately he was back as a little boy, being held to her and comforted.

‘I’m so sorry, my little one, my Mäuschen. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I couldn’t save either of you.’

He could hear in her voice that she was close to tears, or maybe crying already. A few tears seeped from his eyes into her shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.


	14. Chapter 14

A little while later, Wolfgang was sitting on the sofa holding his Oma’s hand. They hadn’t spoken since he had told her but they had both wept and held each other.

Now she took out a clean handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed at her face. He smiled, remembering her doing this when he was little. She’d taught him to always carry a clean handkerchief and he always had. He took his out and wiped his own face quickly.

‘You’ve been through so much, Mäuschen. I wish things could have been different. Did... did Irina blame me?’

Wolfgang looked down. ‘She blamed herself. I... I blamed her for a while but my therapist helped me with that. My father was the only one to blame.’ He looked at her. ‘It was no one else’s fault.’

She nodded, her kind eyes sad as she thought of all the pain the past held. ‘You sound so grown up, Mäuschen. So together. After all you’ve been through, it’s like a miracle that you have a life with such happiness in it now.’

Wolfgang smiled. Miracle. He remembered his conversation with Kala on that rooftop, so long ago now. She’d called it a miracle. She was right.

‘I never used to believe in miracles.’ He smiled. ‘But I do now. Kala is my miracle.’

She gripped his hand. ‘That is so good to hear.’ She bit her lip. ‘Mäuschen, did your mama have any more children?’

He looked down. Was there any point in telling her the truth? It could only hurt her. She didn’t need to know.

‘Oh, Wolfgang, you have the same expression as your mama when you try to hide a truth.’ She cupped his chin gently and raised it so he had to look into her eyes. ‘Tell me the truth, my little one.’

He frowned but he knew he had to tell her. ‘She never gave birth to another child.’

Oma smiled sadly. ‘She lost her babies?’

‘She was pregnant when she died. She thought he would be happy, be good to her for a while. But he wasn’t.’

She shook her head. ‘There is so much sadness in your life. You know, she was so happy when she had you. She loved you so much, despite...’ She stopped herself suddenly. ‘Despite the circumstances.’

He looked at her. ‘I know who he was, Oma. I know who I am.’

She gazed sadly at him. ‘What did she tell you? She swore she would never tell you the whole truth.’

‘He told me. He said she was my sister. He was trying to hurt her, make me hate her. But it didn’t work. She was my mama and I loved her. More than anything. She explained he was her stepfather, that he’d married you. That’s how I found you, through your marriage record.’

He looked down, clenching his hands. ‘I begged her to run away, find you, but it was too late then. She’d lost too much of herself.’

She reached up and stroked his temple, her fingers playing through his hair. ‘You were always so brave. She was proud of you. She never regretted you, Mäuschen, not for one moment.’

He frowned at her. ‘How can that be true?’

‘Sometimes, good things come from bad. The bad things hurt us but the good is so wondrous that one cannot regret it. That’s you, little one. You are the good that comes from the bad. That’s who you are.’

‘I’ve not always been good.’

‘You’ve been hurt, little one. I can see it in your eyes. You’ve been hurt the way he hurt anyone under his power. That’s not your fault.’

He looked at her for a long moment. He didn’t know what to say to her, how to express how he felt. All he knew was that he was beyond grateful to have found her. She was just as warm and kind and loving as he remembered.

He squeezed her hand and smiled. ‘Do you want to meet Kala and Rajan? They’re in a café in the city centre.’

She beamed at him. ‘I’d love to, Mäuschen.’

Wolfgang walked back into the café with his Oma and glanced around. Kala, Rajan and Felix had moved to the sofas but they were expecting him and Kala immediately looked up and smiled.

Then her eyes took in Oma and widened in surprise. He glanced at Oma. ‘That’s them, over there on the sofas.’

Oma linked his arm. ‘The lady with the beautiful curls?’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘That’s Kala. Come and meet them.’

‘I met her before, Mäuschen, if you’ll believe it. When I was getting coffee. Her German is perfect. Was she born here?’

‘No, she’s from Mumbai. Come on.’

They made their way over. Kala, Rajan and Felix stood up.

‘Oma, this is Kala,’ he said.

‘Pleased to meet you, Frau Tillich,’ Kala said in German. 

Oma took Kala’s hand. ‘My dear, call me Oma. I am so pleased to meet you properly. Mäuschen calls you his miracle.

Wolfgang felt himself blush a little. ‘Oma,’ he murmured.

Kala laughed gently, her eyes twinkling.

Oma smiled, then turned her attention to Rajan. ‘You must be Rajan. Sprichst sie Deutsch?’

‘Ein bisschen, Frau,’ said Rajan.

‘I will speak in English then. Pleased to meet you, Rajan. You two have made my grandson very happy.’

Rajan looked at Wolfgang and smiled. ‘He makes us happy too. We love him.’

Wolfgang returned his smile. ‘Oh, Oma, this is Felix. He’s … my brother by choice.’

‘Ah, so you let my grandson play with safes all day?’

Felix laughed. ‘That’s pretty much all he does.’

‘Sit down, Oma. I’ll get you a coffee.’

‘Black, Dankeschön.’

Wolfgang headed over to the counter but part of him stayed with Kala, interested to see how they would interact. He smiled as he saw the rest of the cluster join them, curious about this new member of their family.

Oma smiled at Kala. ‘So, my dear, how did you learn such perfect German?’

‘Ah, well I’m just good at languages,’ said Kala, mildly.

Oma nodded, slowly. ‘I see, well that is a valuable skill. Wolfgang’s Opa was always good at languages. Does Wolfgang take after him in that?’

Kala glanced at where Wolfgang was listening next to her. ‘Yes, I suppose he does.’

‘How many languages does he speak?’ she asked, an odd tone to her voice.

Before Kala could answer, Wolfgang headed back over to the sofas. Oma looked at him and her blue eyes, just like his mama’s, were intense. ‘Wolfgang, you’re Sensate, aren’t you?’


	15. Chapter 15

Wolfgang glanced around. His shock was reflected on all the faces of his cluster. He looked back at Oma, who was watching him carefully. He didn’t know what to say. He was used to keeping this secret safe; he had seen the danger it could cause, had felt it personally. But this was Oma. She was safe to confide in; he’d already confided in her.

Slowly, he nodded. ‘Yeah. I am.’

Oma reached out and took his hand, squeezing gently. ‘I said you were like your Opa. He was Sensate. I never met his cluster but I knew how much they loved each other.’ She looked at Kala. ‘You’re one of Wolfgang’s cluster, aren’t you?’

Kala smiled. ‘I am. How did you know?’

‘When we bumped into each other before, I recognised something in your face, like I was seeing a long-lost relative. Then there’s your perfect German.’

‘Oma, is Opa’s cluster still around?’

Oma shook her head. ‘I never met them in person. I knew their first names but after Opa was killed, I had to go into hiding. I never knew what happened to them.’

‘Oma, we have connections with other sensates. Perhaps we could find them?’ said Wolfgang.

‘And the rest of our cluster would love to meet you,’ said Kala.

Oma smiled. ‘I would love to meet them, all of them.’ She beamed around at them all, with tears in her eyes. ‘I seem to have found a whole family today.’ She squeezed Wolfgang’s hand. ‘And I won’t be letting you go again.’

They were interrupted by the waitress coming over with the coffees. Once she’d passed them around and left again, Oma looked at Wolfgang.

‘I’d like to come and see you in Paris. Would that be all right?’

Wolfgang beamed at her. ‘You’d be very welcome, Oma.’

Wolfgang stood on his balcony, looking out over Paris, smoking and trying to stop his hands from shaking. It had only been a week since they had returned from Berlin but it felt like an age. They’d been busy preparing. Oma was coming to Paris.

Rajan stepped out onto the balcony behind him. Wolfgang heard him step closer but he didn’t look round at him. Rajan put his hand on the small of his back and kissed his shoulder. ‘All right?’

Wolfgang nodded, stubbing out his cigarette. ‘Just a bit nervous.’ He glanced at him. ‘Do you think she’ll like it here?’

‘Of course! Why wouldn’t she? Anyway, she’s coming to spend time with you, not sightsee.’

His hand itched to light another cigarette but he resisted. Chain smoking wouldn’t help. ‘She’s important to me. I just want this to go well.’

‘It will, my love.’ He slid his arms around him and hugged him. ‘Is the meeting still going ahead?’

Wolfgang nodded. ‘Yes, this evening.’ He took a breath. ‘I hope that goes well too.’

‘It will.’ Rajan let go of him and checked his watch. ‘She’ll be here in a minute. Come inside.’

He let Rajan take his hand and tug him inside. ‘Maybe I should have gone in the car to pick her up.’

‘Wolfie, she’s in my best car with our chauffeur. She’ll be fine, my love.’

‘I’ll go down and meet her,’ he said, as they stepped into the living room.

Kala looked up from where she was reading her book on the sofa. ‘Is she nearly here? I’ll put the coffee on.’

She got up, went to him and took his hand. She squeezed it reassuringly. ‘It’ll be fine.’

He gave her a grateful smile and she crossed to the kitchen to start the coffee. Wolfgang took a deep breath and headed out to meet his Oma at the front door.

When Oma got out of the car, she was as warm and smiley as she had been the week before. He felt a rush of love and happiness as he saw her. She crossed to him, reached for him and pulled him into a hug.

‘It’ll never stop being wonderful to see you, Mäuschen.’

Warmth filled his body and he hugged her back. ‘Welcome to Paris, Oma.’

‘It’s so good to be here,’ she said, warmly. She pulled back and looked up at the building. Her eyes widened. ‘This is where you live?’

He chuckled. ‘Yeah. We’ve been here for nearly a year now.’

She shook her head in disbelief. ‘You earn money for this working in a key shop?’

He smiled. ‘No. Rajan is the co-owner and manager of a pharmaceutical company. Kala works there as a pharmacist.’

‘They look after you well.’

‘We look after each other,’ Wolfgang corrected.

She smiled and nodded. ‘That’s the way it should be.’

They made their way inside, through the foyer and up into the flat. Rajan and Kala were waiting and he could feel Kala’s nerves as well as his own. But Oma radiated such warmth and kindness that it was difficult to be nervous for long.

Oma insisted on being shown around and Wolfgang was happy to oblige. She was very impressed by the three-storey apartment and made all the right noises.

But when they got up to the top floor, where the swimming pool was, she gasped. ‘Oh, Mäuschen, look at that! How lucky you are! You still like to swim then? You always loved to swim. I used to take you sometimes. You were like a little dolphin, sliding though the water.’

He smiled. ‘Ja, I swim every day. It keeps me calm and happy. Rajan made sure to buy an apartment with a pool for me.’

‘He is a good man.’ She looked sideways at him. ‘I really like them both. You know how lucky you are, don’t you, Mäuschen? To have such love in your life.’

A smile spread across his face. ‘I know. They’re … everything to me.’ He reached for her hand and tugged gently. ‘Come on. Kala’s made coffee.’

Back in the living room, they sat and sipped the strong black coffee together. Wolfgang glanced at Kala, who nodded. It was time.

He reached for Oma’s hand. ‘Oma, we have something to tell you.’

Oma put her coffee cup down. ‘Sounds serious, Mäuschen.’

‘It is, Oma, but it’s good news. We found Opa’s cluster.’

She gasped, holding her hand to her mouth. ‘You did? Oh, Mäuschen.’

‘We’ve arranged for you to meet some of them, tonight.’

‘I cannot believe this, it’s all so sudden.’ She looked at him. ‘How many are there?’

‘Four are still alive but only two could get here in time. One lives in Calais and the other Iceland. Two of our cluster are bringing them to meet you tonight.’

‘So, I get to meet more of your cluster too?’

Wolfgang grinned. ‘You’ll get to meet them all at some point. I doubt I could keep them away for long.’

Early evening, the four of them headed out to the local park to meet up with their friends. They were heading out for dinner afterwards, all eight of them. Wolfgang was both anxious and excited and he knew Oma would be feeling the same. This was a big deal.

He felt Will and Riley before he saw them. They were excited too and eager to see them, though tired from their flight. He spotted them, waiting on a bench. Will stood, waving them over. At the same moment, he put his arm around Wolfgang’s shoulders and walked with him.

‘You’ll like them,’ he said.

Riley grinned at him and Kala. ‘You will.’

They reached the group. Will and Riley stood with two people Oma’s age, a man and a woman. The man was tall, good looking with salt and pepper hair and a big friendly smile. The woman stood back a little, nervous and watchful. But she had kind blue eyes. She had short, white blonde hair and a slim build.

The man took a step forward straight away. ‘Petra, ma chérie, I would recognise you anywhere. Klaus is so missed.’

‘You must be Tristian,’ said Oma. She reached for him and they hugged tightly, before she stepped back and took each other in. ‘It is so good to meet you, after all these years.’

He reached back and took the woman’s hand. ‘This is Dana.’ He grinned. ‘She’s a little shy.’

Dana glared at him. ‘I’m not shy. I’m just naturally suspicious,’ she said in Icelandic.

‘Well you don’t need to be. This is Klaus’s family so they’re our family,’ he said in German, for Oma’s benefit.

Dana looked at Oma and gave her a small smile. ‘It’s really good to see you, Petra. After Klaus died and you disappeared, we thought we’d never see you again.’

‘I know how much Klaus loved you all.’ She turned to Wolfgang. ‘This is mine and Klaus’s grandson, Wolfgang.’

Tristian stepped forward and enveloped him in a hug. Wolfgang, although surprised and confused, hugged him back. He caught Will’s affectionate smile at his confusion and he rolled his eyes.

But then Tristian pulled back, clasped his hands and looked into his eyes. ‘Mon aime, you have had a lot of pain in your life. You’ve been so alone in the past.’

Wolfgang didn’t know what to say. He just looked back at Tristian, waiting for him to say more and feeling the connection form between them. It was like looking at a loving father.

Tristian squeezed his hands. ‘But you’re not alone now, mon aime.’ He smiled. ‘You are a tree with many branches.’

Dana gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder. ‘Tristian has a romantic soul but he is right. You’re all family now.’ She grinned. ‘We’re proud to be connected to the cluster that took down The Cannibal.’

Wolfgang exchanged glances with his cluster and smiled. There was still pain associated with that time but he was also proud of it. They’d taken down one of the worst threats to their kind that had ever existed.

At dinner, everybody got on well. They spoke in English, for the benefit of Oma and Rajan. They could all feel the connections building between them, after eye contract had been made between them all. Wolfgang watched Dana and Tristian, wondering if any of their traits were his Opa’s. Did they recognise anything of their clustermate in him?

He glanced at his own cluster. Although only Will, Riley and Kala were really there, the others kept popping in as well, eager to know these new Sensates as well. His cluster had only been in his life for a few years but already, he couldn’t imagine his life without them. He couldn’t imagine the pain of losing even one of them. Opa’s cluster had lost four. How did you even go on after that? How could you live through that pain of losing a part of yourself, someone you loved more than yourself? He didn’t think he could stand it.

He realised Tristian was watching him. The Frenchman reached across and took his hand. ‘We mourn Klaus every day, but a Sensate never truly dies. He is with us every day.’ He smiled. ‘And he is so proud of you.’

Oma, sitting next to him, took his other hand and squeezed it. ‘So am I, Mäuschen.’

Wolfgang felt that warmth inside him again and he squeezed her hand back.

Oma leaned against him. ‘Ich Leibe dich, Mäuschen.’

He kissed the top of her head. ‘Ich Leibe dich auch, Oma.’

She looked up at him. ‘I don’t want to lose you again, Mäuschen. I was thinking, I don’t have anybody back in Mitte. Would you mind if I moved here? I could get a little flat near you, then we can see each other sometimes.’

He grinned. ‘Oma, I’d love it. We’re going to Mumbai in a couple of weeks for Diwali. Kala likes to celebrate with her family. Do you want to come? It’s a beautiful festival.’

‘Ja! Is that the one with all the lights?’

Wolfgang chuckled. ‘Ja. It’s about the victory of light over darkness.’

She hugged him tight. ‘That really is something to celebrate.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be another part to the Love is a Choice series, to follow this one, but it's a long one and I have yet to plot it out so there may be a little bit of a wait. But in the meantime, I will be posting some smaller stories, just one-shots but hopefully lots of fun ones! Subscribe for updates!


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